LOL Minnesota Vikings History
The Minnesota Vikings 'are a current running NFL Legacy of Failure. This is a detailed lolcow history of all their misfortune. 1980s * After the 83 reason, Bud Grant decided to retire, it's a real damn shame he never won it. * After the shit 84 season, management asked Bud to coach another year for team morale, he agreed, then retired again after the season went nowhere. * Minnesota then made a right move at hired Grant's offensive coordinator Jerry Burns, by the 1986, the Vikings were back in the playoffs. ** January 17th 1988 would go down in history as one of the most heart breaking moments in Vikings history, QB Wade Wilson (nope not the actor) tossed the ball to RB Darrin Nelson at the goal line for a touchdown to tie the game against the Redskins in the NFC Championship. '''Nelson dropped the ball. ' '''How about dem Cowboys? * October 12th 1989 would go down in history as one of the worst decisions by the Vikings and one of the worst trades in NFL history. In exchange for Hershel Walker from the Dallas Cowboys and 4 other players, the Vikings would give them the entire organization, 5 players '''(included Darrin Nelson) and 7 draft picks. ' ** The Dallas Cowboys would use those draft picks to build their 90's dynasty that would lead them to '''3 Superbowl wins in the decade. THREE. '(You guys made it to four in the decade before and didn't win one.' '''Hope you are proud of that Minnesota!) 50 years of Failure '''He isn't old! He's fine!' * In 2010, Brett Favre officially became a grandpa, and was finally thinking of hanging it up (which he should of done years earlier). But Childress was hellbent on keeping him in Minnesota and sabotaged training camp by sending away three unnamed Vikings. He then increased his salary by $3 million. * The 2010 season would be Favre's swan song, and a disaster, but not just for fans, but even for their freaking stadium ** Sidney Rice would get hurt during the first game against the Saints ** Sage Rosenfels was sent to the Giants before he got hurt, so their WR situation was pretty fucked, they would try to patch it up by sending a package to New England for Randy Moss back. ** The Week 7 game against Green Bay at Lambeau wasn't anything short of shit *** Favre was again booed by the Packers fanbase. *** After the loss, Childress would publicly bitch about the officiating and be fined $35,000 ** Favre would then suffer a bad laceration in the Week 8 game against the Patriots, so they had to go back to Tavaris Jackson. *** Following this game, Randy Moss would shit all over the Vikings front office and be cut, so his tenure only lasted three weeks and the Vikings lost a 3rd rounder. ** Following a devastating Week 12 loss at home to the Packers, realizing how much he was fucking up, the Vikings axed Childress. ** Week 14 would show that not just the Vikings fans were upset with what had become of their team, but Mother Nature herself, a major snowstorm would hit Minneapolis and force the Metrodome roof to collapse, now the Vikings were left without a home. ** Since the Metrodome would be unavailable for the Week 15 game against the Bears (which was the final home game of the season), the Vikings had to play in the outdoor TCF bank stadium, where they would have to succumb to the Minnesota cold *** This would be the last game of Favre's career as he would get concussed on the field. *** Oh yeah, and they would lose this game too. ** The Vikings would finish at 6-10 looking at an extremely bleak future. ** Did I forget to mention this was their 50th season? Well that was a way to celebrate LMAO Pondering over suffering * Instead of finding a new coach who will utilize younger talent, they decided just to promote Childress' defensive coordinator Leslie Frazier to full time (he was interim after Childress was fired). * They would then trade for Donovan McNabb (who was past his prime) from the Skins and draft Christian Ponder that offseason. * The 2011 season would be an even worse outcome than the previous. ** McNabb actually played well with an 82.9 passer rating, but since the rest of the team was shit, so they went 1-5 to start, Frazier blamed McNabb and benched him for Ponder. ** Ponder would only win 2 games to go 3-13 as the Vikings waived McNabb. * Next year would be a bounce back for Ponder however. ** The 10-6 record did not stop them from being decimated by their NFC North overlords in the Packers * The 2013 season was a few steps back ** Ponder started poorly, losing the the first 3 games, in the week 3 game at home against the Browns, Vikings fans booed him and chanted for his back up in Matt Cassel. ** Cassel would start after Ponder got hurt and get a win, but like most rookies' consistencies he would struggle the following week ** The Vikings would panic and sign Josh Freeman and start him in literally less than 2 weeks into being on the team against the Giants *** In said game he'd do awful as New York proceeded to shut the Vikings out, he would be concussed during the game as Ponder returned and wound up doing better than him. Freeman would proceed to be third string the rest of the season. ** Ponder would get concussed himself in Week 14, that would be the end of his job as the starting QB for the Vikings as Cassel took over for the rest of the season. ** After finishing 5-10-1, Frazier was fired, but as a guy on Childress' staff should he of gotten the job in the first place? Bridgewater! * Mike Zimmer, the former Bengals offensive coordinator would be named the next head coach (honestly not a bad hire considering the Bengals' Defense around the time he was there) * With Ponder in the past the Vikings were set to draft another new QB, in a close call moment, the Vikings were getting ready to select Johnny Manziel (aka Johnny Football). However, the Browns pulled a Browning and picked him up first, so the Vikings settled on Teddy Bridgewater. When the Browns did their million dollar research they actually found Bridgewater was the best QB to pick up (but of course rejected it), so there could of been a good chance they would've taken Teddy and Minnesota got Johnny. Imagine what would of transpired there. * Since the 2014 season is pretty much a rebuild, there wasn't much to lose or gain, Bridgewater would fare well and the team would go 7-9. And that was in the cold at TCF, as US Bank Stadium was being constructed right where the old Metrodome stood. ** But this was the season where Adrian Peterson was brought to court for beating up his kids, so he got suspended and couldn't play, so there could of been a chance the Vikings may have made the post season in 2014. * 2015 then saw the Vikings return to good form at 11-5 and the NFC North back in their grasp. We all know what happens this time around folks! ** With being down by one point in the first round against the Seahawks and only seconds left in the game, kicker Blair Walsh missed '''a 27-yard field goal. Jesus... ** Poor Blair actually hasn't recovered from that since (chin up bud). '''The Sacrifice of the Birds * US Bank Stadium officially opened for the 2016 season, however, during construction, there was talk about installing bird friendly glass so no birds fly into the new giant doors. The Vikings refused this and as a result a shit ton of birds get killed flying into the stadium's windows as of today. It will cost them much more to replace the glass than it was to just install it in the first place. * The 2016 season was over before it even started ** In training camp, Bridgewater would tear his ACL, it was even rumored it would take until the end of the '2017 season '''for him to return. ** So who would the Vikings acquire to replace him? Sam Bradford, the injury riddled first round pick of the Eagles. ' ''' ** While Bradford did ok, Adrian Peterson would also get hurt and as a result the team finished 8-8. He'd also leave at the end of the season. * With the 2017 season, the Superbowl was going to be in their new stadium, therefore the Vikings were determined to do all they could to make it there that year. ** As a testament to his career: Bradford would get hurt in the 2nd game of the season, he would be replaced by journeyman Case Keenum, what happens next surprised all of us. ** The Vikings would finish with a 13-3 record and clinching the NFC North, they also got a bye and an at home divisional round game against the Saints ** This game had the infamous Minneapolis Miracle where on the last play Keenum would pass to Stefon Diggs for the winning touchdown, with these performances and the desire to make it to a Superbowl at home, the Vikings were determined to win it all. ** Then next week they got murdered by an Eagles team lead by Nick Foles, Philly would go on to beat the Patriots in the Superbowl that year in US Bank. Ouch. * The Vikings weren't keen on going back to Bridgewater and decided to let him become a UFA. * Keenum would leave for the Broncos and Sam Bradford would leave for the Cardinals following the season. The Vikings needed a new QB, so they signed former Redskins QB Kirk Cousins for 3 years. We think he is good? * The 2018 season posted an 8-7-1 record and just out of playoff reach. * The 2019 season is currently going better. ** Bridgewater would wind up with the Saints this season and replace Drew Brees as he was hurt, he'd win every game while Brees was out. So maybe the Vikings should've kept him? ** So one glaring issues with Cousins is he can't seem to get the job done in prime time games. ** The Vikings made it to the playoffs as the 6th seed, they made it past the Saints (for some reason that keeps happening) then got their asses whopped by Lord Garapollo and the Niners Category:NFL Category:Minnesota